Medieval Marriages: Happily Ever After or Happy Trading?

The Wedding of King Arthur and Guinevere, painted by Lancelot Speed

Modern vs. Medieval

Typical weddings now during the 21st century can best be described as affairs of unity where two people willingly come before their loved ones to express their devotion and commitment to one another. From that point on, they are seen as equals, two halves of one whole. Modern marriages also tend to have two possible outcomes, this being that the couple may remain together forever or separate along the way. In both scenarios, it all comes down to the choices and decisions of both people involved in the marriage, disregarding differences in social ranking and gender. These aspects of marriage seem common and justifiable to anyone in this day and age, yet this could not have been farther from reality during the Middle Ages. 

Traditions of Medieval Marriages & Weddings

During the middle ages, marriages meant more about what can be gained materialistically and less about the connection between the bride and groom They were commonly arranged by the parents for a multitude of different reasons, certain examples being to establish alliances between families or kingdoms, secure titles of nobility, and obtain land. One would expect that the most common age to get married would fall somewhere during their 20's, maybe even 30's. However, it was acceptable for women to marry at as young as 12 years old. Each family would offer their daughter's future husband a dowry* that he would then receive access to after the wedding (1). Once the actual wedding was to take place, there were a variety of strange practices that would be out of place if they occurred during modern weddings such as... (2)

• Anyone could get married anywhere they wanted as long as a vow of marriage was made, even if no one was present
• The wedding ring would be placed on the bride's right hand instead of her left
• During the couple's wedding night, there would be multiple witnesses to ensure the consummation of the marriage

Learn about 2 more strange medieval wedding traditions in the video below!

* "the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband or his family in marriage" (Britannica) 

Difficulties of Married Life

Illustration of a married couple during the Middle Ages.

Due to marriages in this era mostly being arranged for the purpose of receiving advantages, there was a high possibility of either party involved in the marriage to not even meet their selected partner until the day of their wedding. With this, the potential for developing a love connection before marriage with each other was significantly low. Sometimes the love between husband and wife would never grow, leaving them stuck in the "friend zone" with one another (1). After the wedding, there were certain expectations present for both the man and woman involved that they were pressured to follow. The wife was considered to be owned by her husband and it was required of her to heed his every word. On the other hand, the husband held the role of providing for his family through any means (3). Not only would they have to bear the burden of sharing their lives and committing to a stranger, their designated societal roles worked as constraints on the little opportunity they each had for freedom to navigate their marriage. 

Was Divorce an Option? 

Illustration of the practice of divorce by combat.

In today's society, anyone can divorce their partner for any reasons they see fit. In the Middle Ages, the act of getting a divorce could be considered nonexistent. Separations or annulments would only be granted in a medieval court through particular conditions. Certain examples of these conditions were if it was discovered that either the wife or husband was already married to someone else, they were related through religion (godparents) or blood, one of them was assumed to be infertile, or adultery was committed (4). 

Modern divorces end with both parties' signatures on a paper, yet medieval Germany took a more violent approach through the established act of divorce duels, or divorce by combat. The act involved the man being disadvantaged through certain specifications, such as him being required to remain in a 3-foot deep hole with one arm behind his back. Both the man and woman would then fight until either of them won, in which the other would be killed (5). It comes as no surprise that during an era of strange wedding traditions there would be strange divorce rituals. 

Podcast episode discussing medieval marriage practices 

Works Cited

(1) https://www.medievaltimes.com/education/medieval-era/marriage#:~:text=Men%20were%20sometimes%20able%20to,the%20couple%20had%20been%20married

(2) http://weddingsallovertheworld.com/home/294-horrible-and-adorable-medieval-wedding-traditions.html

(3) https://legalhistorymiscellany.com/2020/02/14/whats-love-got-to-do-with-it-marriage-in-late-medieval-england-and-the-low-countries/

(4) https://blog.nationalarchives.gov.uk/till-death-us-part-divorce-medieval-england/

(5) https://medium.com/lessons-from-history/divorce-by-combat-d9309701f718